Surgery and Hospital Stay

Well, it's been 3 weeks since my surgery. I haven't really been in a mood to be on the computer.

So since it has been 3 weeks, sit down and prepare for a long post.

My mom came in to town the Sunday before my surgery. On Monday, August 23rd I got up at 4:30 am to shower and get dressed to head to the hospital. We stopped off at the hotel where my mom was staying at so she could follow us to the hospital.

We got to the hospital and checked in. I of course had to pay my deductible before I could be called back for the surgery preparation. Finally after a short time the parade to the surgical waiting room began. They took roughly 4 patients and their families up at a time. The families found seats while the surgery patients signed in. Wasn't very long before I was called back to get ready.

First thing first I was weighed. I had lost 20 pounds! That made 24 pounds lost since I last saw the doctor on 7/28. Wahoo! Then it was here, take off your clothes and put the backless gown on. Next came the anesthesiologist trying to get the IV line in. I have a friend who works for their billing company and had said she was going to try to make sure that I got the best doctor. Needless to say, as the anesthesiologist was having problems getting the IV in, he kept mumbling about how my friend was in trouble. A little comic relief during the whole pre-op routine, thank goodness!

After all of that the nurse realized that I needed to pee in a cup. Now I wasn't supposed to drink anything after midnight. How in the heck was I gonna pee in a cup. Well, somehow I managed to do it. The family came in just in time for Dr Spaw to come in. Evidently it is routine to remove the gall bladder and appendix during the surgery. My mom questioned why and it is due to after these surgeries, people tend to have flare ups of these 2 organs. Mom told Dr. Spaw that we have never had gall bladder problems so it was decided to leave it in and just remove the appendix. Shortly afterward I was wheeled towards surgery. I don't even remember leaving the pre-op area; good drugs ;o)

The next thing I remember was being wheeled to my hospital room, semi-awake, asking for pain medicine because my stomach was hurting so bad. I was set up with an automatic pain pump. I used it quite a bit on the Monday and somewhat on Tuesday. Monday I spent most of the day asleep because of the pain medicine, but I did have times where I was awake. I did have to get up and walk around that Monday.

Tuesday was better. Dr Spaw would come in early in the morning. In between trying to sleep and getting woken up every 4 hours for vitals, there were meal trays and just general things. Mom would come in around 11 am and I would then start the walking around that they required.

By Wednesday I was completely off the pain medicine and got approval to remove that IV. Because they kept having trouble with the IV lines. I was beginning to get stir crazy. I was getting up and walking more and more.

I was told that most people stay in the hospital 3 1/2 to 4 days. So Thursday I was looking forward to going home. What I didn't know was that my release was dependant on my being able to pass gas. Every morning Dr. Spaw would come in and ask 3 basic questions: 1. how was I feeling? 2. How much was I drinking? and 3. Had I passed any gas?

Thursday morning I was so ready to get out of the hospital. He came in Thursday morning and asked if I had farted. Nope. Well, because I hadn't, I wasn't allowed to leave. Another damn day in the hospital. I at least got the okay to be IV free on Thursday. So on Thursday I got up and made 5 laps around the hospital floor trying to get things moving. Thursday night I spent just shaking and rubbing my belly. I was determined to get things moving.

About 2 am Friday morning I had to go. I was never so happy to have a bowel movement! Dr. Spaw came in on Friday morning and I got the okay to go home!

All in all the stay in the hospital wasn't too bad. The part that got me was the daily shots to prevent blood clots. Unfortunately I had to have these shots in my belly. They weren't as bad, in that they were causing my belly to hurt, but more annoying than anything.

So by 10:30 am on Friday August 27 I was leaving the hospital. We stopped off at my work to say hello to everyone. Then we went to mom's hotel until my boyfriend got off work and could calm our animals down before I came in. Last thing I needed was a dog jumping on my stomach.

So that covers my hospital stay. It's taking me all afternoon to write this so I think I'll wait to write about the rest later.

Before Surgery Pictures

These were taken by a coworker in my office. This is 3 days before surgery. Last known weight, 427 pounds. Shorts are a size 32 and tank top is a size 26/28.

So here we are. My 2 features I am most excited about getting rid of? My fat legs and upper arms. Especially my legs. It's very difficult to shop with those legs.

2 Days Before Surgery

So it has been rough going this week. This week is strictly liquids. I found myself doing okay on Monday, but as the week progressed I was having trouble drinking the 4 protein shakes and getting my 64 ounces of water in.

I think I am getting quickly burned out on the shakes. My coworkers were like, Oh I love the shakes, and my response is yeah, but you're only drinking 1 not 4 a day.

All week long I would come home from work and fall asleep on the couch. I am just completely drained. I'm sure that it's because of the lack of food and protein but I still couldn't get the 4 shakes down.

I haven't been sleeping well. Because of the naps I've been going to bed late so I am sure that hasn't helped with the whole not sleeping good. I think 1 part of the reason is I just can't seem to get comfortable in bed here lately. Not sure why. The other reason is I have a cat that is sick and I think I will lose in the near future. My fear is that he will die while I'm in the hospital. Unfortunately with the surgery coming up I don't have the extra money to take him to the vet. He is 13 years old which is the longest I have ever had a cat.

My coworkers this week have been checking in on me to see how I'm doing. They let me talk about food, but have been ever watchful to make sure I haven't been eating any. Out of the 4 coworkers who said they would do the diet with me, only 1 has managed to do the entire 2 weeks. She is a diabetic so she didn't do the exact diet, but she did restrict herself with what she ate. While she was on this diet with me her blood sugar averaged about 100 the entire time. She's gonna stay on this diet until she sees her doctor on 8/27. She said if she's lost even 5 pounds she's gonna stay on it. I told her to email me to what the doctor said.

I have continued my internet surfing. There are a couple of websites that I definitely want to order from. I just wish I had more money to do all the ordering I want....but alas, I haven't won the Powerball or MegaMillions lottery jackpot yet.

I did go to GNC this week to buy my protein powder that I can mix in with food. Unfortunately none of the GNC stores carry it. The only way to get it is order it online. I was not a happy camper. So it is ordered and will probably arrive when I am in the hospital. I also dropped off the prescriptions that the doctor gave me on my visit on 7/28. While at Walgreens I also grabbed Flintstones chewable vitamins. How I ever thought these were tasty as a kid I will never know.

So tomorrow is all clear liquids which means only water, broth, Popsicles, Jell-o and Powerade Zero. No protein shakes. Mom also arrives tomorrow. Monday morning have to be at the hospital by 5:30 am. Surgery should be around 7:30 am and will take about 3 hours to complete.

I'm gonna post some "before" pictures and after that my next post will either be from the hospital or once I am home. I am curious to know how much I have lost on this diet. My last weigh in a week and a half ago was 427. We'll see.

Pre-Surgery Diet - Day 7

So I am on day 7 of the pre-op diet. Today I get to have my last solid food until after surgery.

So I have been doing so-so on the diet. There are some days that I am doing great, drinking all my water and protein shakes and other days not so much. It's definitely easier for me to get my water in at work than it is at home.

I have been having headaches all week long. About the only thing I can do to get rid of them is to sleep.

I have only "cheated" twice. On Monday I had 1 chocolate cookie and then on Friday I bought an Atkins protein bar at the grocery store. I ate it to see if it would help with the headaches...it didn't.

Side Bar:
I will have to give some props to the folks at the Atkins company..Their food takes pretty darn good. The protein bar was chocolate covered peanut butter bar. It was kinda like peanut butter with peanut bits in it covered in chocolate. It was 240 calories, 22g of carbs, 1g of sugar and 18g of protein. I also noticed that they had Atkins peanut butter cups. Can't wait to try them after surgery! Gonna have to go to the Atkins website to look to see what else they have and if there are any coupons.

Tomorrow I start the 4 protein shakes a day. Thank goodness I found the Atkins shakes because if I hadn't it would be hard as hell this week!

I've been surfing the internet for different websites for various things. Some items that a specifically made for bariatric patients, also some websites for cooking your own high protein, low sugar and low carb foods. Here are a couple:

http://www.bariatricchoice.com/
http://www.chefdave.org/

In trying to find high protein meat, I have been looking for some different options and found a couple of great buffalo/bison meat websites. Buffalo or bison meat is very good. It's high in protein and low in fat. Plus to me it tastes just like beef. We have a Ted's Montana Grill here in Nashville and I am sure I will be going to them quite a bit. Anyway, here are a couple of buffalo websites:

http://www.highplainsbison.com/
http://www.americangourmet.net/

I also joined an online support group. It's where I got the weight loss tracker that you see on the right. It's interesting to see the before and after pictures as well as the message boards. Since the support group the hospital has only meets once a month, this is a great alternative.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/

I am on there as FTTG2010 if you decide to join and want to friend me.

Oh and in regards to my last post, I did make it through the Upper GI test okay. I didn't throw up once although the stuff you had to drink was nasty! During the pre admission registration, I did find out that I had lost 4.5 pounds in the 2 weeks since I had last been weighed. We'll see how much I lose when I go in for surgery. I've heard that most people lose 15 to 20 pounds on this diet. Let's hope so.

Final Eat What You Want Weekend

Well, this is my final weekend to eat what I want with no consequences. Now there is just one problem. After buying almost everything that I needed for the 2 week diet, I am now broke. I guess that is something I am gonna have to get used to. All these protein shakes and protein powders do not come cheap.

Because I have never tried a protein drink before, I ended up buying 3 different kinds so that I could compare and contrast. Finding the drinks wasn't too difficult. Walmart and my local Kroger had a pretty good variety. Finding the specific frozen dinners that I need on the other hand was damn near impossible. I was able to find most of them but it took 1o minutes in the frozen food aisle.

So Monday I start the pre-op diet. On Tuesday night I have to really restrict myself because on Wednesday morning I have the pre-admission testing including drinking the flavored chalk so that they can do the upper GI test. I had to do the same thing when I had to go into testing when they thought I had a blockage only to find out it was a tumor. But anyway, I couldn't drink it then, not sure how I am gonna get through it on Wednesday.

When I start the diet Monday, I think that's when it will really hit me. In 2 weeks I get to start a new healthier life and finally find out what it will be like to be a person in a normal weight.

My first goal is this. I am currently in a size 30/32 and by December 31st I hope to be able to be in a size 24.

Here's hoping.

Dr visit requires some thinking

I yesterday I met with my surgeon. I was November 2009 since I last saw him. As I had mentioned, I have gained a few pounds since I last saw him. Like 30 pounds. When we sat down and talked he asked what surgery I was considering. I said Gastric Bypass. I also mentioned that I wanted to get down to 200 pounds.

That's where things came to a halt. He asked if I had considered the duodenal switch procedure. He told me that if I had the gastric bypass that I would probably lose about 130 pounds and the rest would be up to me alone.

If I had the duodenal switch, I would be able to lose the weight that I want to lose and be able to maintain the loss.

My other choice would to have the gastric sleeve procedure, then a year and a half to 2 years when I level off, and if the insurance would approve it, I could then have the bypass to get me the rest of the way.

We spent 25 minutes in office talking about options. We checked with the insurance specialist and my new insurance would cover both the switch or the sleeve.

I kept saying that "I want to get down to 200 pounds". At the end of the visit he told me that since I had said that I wanted to get to 200 pounds 3 times since we were talking, that I had probably already decided, but he wanted me to take some time to think things over. He gave me an online class about the sleeve and switch procedures. Last night I watched them. In talking with friends and family, I pretty much decided in telling them about it, but I still took the time to think about it.

Once I made up my mind, I was told to call the office to let then know my decision and we would proceed from there.

I called this morning to tell them that I want to do the switch procedure. The insurance specialist told me that they would let the insurance company know and get approval for the change. Once they get the okay from the insurance company, they would schedule 1 more appointment with the surgeon to go over the specific surgery and then schedule the actual surgery. So I am now back in waiting mode.

I am hoping that since it only took a week for the insurance company to approve the initial surgery, that it won't take long for them to approve the change.

Then the other kicker is that the doctor said he might put me on a 3 week liquid diet instead of a 2 week one because I had gained the additional 30 pounds. Oh goody. So right now I am looking at the middle to end of August for my surgery, all depending on when the change gets approved and how quickly I can see the doctor for that last pre-surgery appointment.

and so the waiting continues.......

In 2 months

I can't believe that in 2 months I should finally be starting on my weight loss journey. In December, July seemed so far away. Now it seems just around the corner.

I have so many things to do to try to get ready. I need to start buying the slim fast and protein powders. Start buying some books, cookbooks and regular to start mentally getting ready.

This Wednesday I have appointment #5 with my PCP. After I schedule #6 with the PCP I will call my gastric doctor and schedule the appointment with him. Hoping by mid July I will be undergoing the surgery to change my life forever.

I do plan on taking some pictures to post for the pre-surgery body....God help the world! I'll be looking forward to posting the after surgery pictures. I'm gonna be even happier to go to my favorite theme park, maybe as early as this fall, next summer and ride all those roller coasters my fat butt can't fit on now.

The journey is getting closer and I am getting more and more excited.

Update

So I have had doctor visit #4 with my primary doctor of the 6 visits that my new insurance requires before I can have the gastric bypass surgery.

Since I have started these monthly visits my weight has gone up. I am now at 413 according to my PCP's scale. So I could use the normal excuses....winter, busy.....etc

Let's be honest though, shall we? I just haven't really cared about watching what I eat at this point. So I've been eating whatever I want.

Ice cream, Cadbury mini eggs (my Easter favorite), Girl Scout cookies, etc.

I've got 2 more monthly visits with my primary doctor before I can schedule an appointment with the specialist. So as of right now, it appears that I am on track to have my surgery sometime in July I am guessing.

I can't wait for next summer!

Time away to come to acceptance

So after realizing that I was going to have to postpone my surgery due to lack of funds, it has taken a long time to get over the depression, the hurt, and the anger.

I am still dealing with the disappointment. I had all these "scenes" in my head. Me surprising my uppity aunts at the family reunion in July with my new skinnier self. Having a blast riding the roller coasters I've always wanted to ride but am too big to fit in the seats in at my favorite amusement park.

So the new year has dawned and so now I begin having to deal with the 6 month wait that is required with the new insurance.

After sending a copy of my new insurance card to the insurance specialist at the doctor's office, I discovered that all of the requirements that were required with the previous insurance (psych eval, 5 year history, meeting with the nutritionist) the only thing that I have to get/do is a 6 month doctor monitored weight loss "program" with documentation.

Since that is all I need I have booked the first appointment for Thursday. Hopefully the 6 months will go by as quickly as last year has gone.

My hope is that by July or August at the latest I will have my surgery and will start the fall of 2010 losing most of this weight.

Well, the journey is taking a little longer than I planned, but the journey is back on again.

2nd month pre-op nutritionist follow up

So in this waiting journey that my insurance company requires me to do before having the surgery, I am now in the second slow month. This month the insurance company requires me to have a follow up conversation with the dietitian and the exercise guy. This can be either done through email, phone or an office visit.

My follow up with the dietitian was via email. In the email she asked some basic questions and wanted me to either email or call in a response. I answered them honestly and I'm sure that she didn't like some of the answers I provided.

Here were the questions she asked in red and my answers in blue:

1. Please list any food and beverage consumed in the past 24 hours.
Sunday
2 BBQ chicken sandwiches on Poppy Seed Kaiser Roll
2 all beef fat free hot dogs on white buns
1 grab & go cup of Kraft Mac & Cheese
1 serving meat Lasagna
3 pieces garlic Texas toast
4 20 oz bottles of water
6 mini powdered donuts

Monday
4 tootsie rolls
2 miniature Hershey bars
2 tootsie pops
4 slices of turkey with gravy
2 scoops mashed potatoes with gravy
8 oz of fountain Pepsi
8 oz of water so far

2. How many times per day do you eat? (Including snacks and meals)
2 big meals - usually lunch and dinner I normally snack on stuff through out my work day

3. What kind of beverages do you drink throughout a typical day?
Water and for the moment usually less than 12 oz of Pepsi

4. When considering your daily intake, would you say you eat “normal portions,” “more than normal,” or “less than normal?”
more than normal I found this question difficult to answer. It really depends on when and what I am eating.

5. How many times per week do you eat away from home? (Includes restaurant dining, fast food, convenience food, etc., but not a lunch you may pack yourself and take to work)
lunch is usually 5 days a week, dinner is usually 1 sometimes 2 times a week I guess I should have clarified my answer on this one. I don't normally pack a lunch, so I either eat in the company cafeteria or go out for lunch. Usually if I go out for lunch, it is usually to Subway or Panera Bread.

6. What obstacles do you face in preparing foods at home?
time Isn't that the obstacles that everyone faces? Not just fat people?

7. Stress is a part of everyone’s life. When under stress would you say you eat more or less than usual?
More Doesn't everyone? I'd really like to meet the people who don't eat more when they are stressed!

8. If more, what foods are you eating when stressed?
sweets, salty items Can you say Chocolate? Hello?!?!?!

9. What would you say is your biggest obstacle to weight loss success, and how do you plan to overcome this obstacle?
I snack at my desk while at work. I think the biggest problem for me will be breaking that habit. I have been trying to prepare myself, but have not had much success.

Needless to say the dietitian did not like my answers. Here was the response that I got back after supplying my answers:

Based on your nutrition evaluation, I would like for you to work on the following things before your next follow up visit. These goals will be important expectations after your surgery, so let’s see if we can start forming some new, healthy habits now.

* Eliminate your intake of carbonated beverages
* Decrease your intake of fast food and the number of times you are eating away from home (except lunches that are pre-packed and taken with you)
* Drink at least 64 ounces of water daily.
* Decrease your portion sizes. You can do this by using a smaller plate, smaller utensils, or eliminating second helpings.
* Start reading nutrition facts labels. You are going to be focused on consuming a high protein, low carbohydrate diet after surgery.
* Try to consume three meals per day, with only one snack between meals. You mentioned that the snacking between meals was your biggest obstacle, and the best way to get over that is to make sure you are getting in adequate protein at your meals so that you do not get hungry for snacks in between. Try to have something high in protein at each meal, and do not keep snacks at your desk at work.

Be prepared to explain how you have made these changes in your life at our next visit, and also to give a recall of the foods you consume in a typical day.


Sure that's easy for her to say! Some of the things she has talked about in her response, I have already started doing. I didn't mention that I used to drink 3 or 4 or more 12 oz cans of Pepsi a day and I cut back to less than a 12 oz glass of fountain Pepsi 5 days a week.

Or how I started paying more attention to labels from when I was active in Weight Watchers.

Anyway, just waiting on the follow up with the exercise guy. I get to tell him that I walked in 2 Society walks the past 3 weeks and walked a total of 7 miles in those walks. I really want to get a pedometer so I can see how many steps I make in a 1 job day and on those days were I work 2 jobs. Maybe as an early Christmas present to myself.

I also need to follow up with my PCP. I told his nurse that I needed the 5 year history by the 16th. Letting her conclude that I meant the 16th of November rather than the 16th of December. Hopefully he has gotten that information to the doctor already. I want to hurry up and get this surgery over with so I can start my new life as a new me!

An eventful week on the Journey

So this week has been an eventful week for me on this weight loss journey.

* In my quest to end my caffeine intake up until the past couple of 2 weeks, I had been doing good. It has been a couple stressful of weeks so I did break down and have a beloved Pepsi. So I have been trying to go back to being good and drinking water.


* I had gotten an email from my doctor's office that they needed to reschedule my final appointment with the doctor before surgery scheduling. It is getting bumped back one week as the doctor is planning on taking a couple of weeks off at the beginning of December. My question was by bumping this appointment back, would I still be able to have the surgery by the end of December? On Monday I got reassurance from the insurance specialist in the office that I should be able to get it done by 12/31. I hope that is the case, because I am ready for it NOW!

* On Tuesday I attended the second of 2 mandatory support group meetings that you have to attend prior to having surgery. It is amazing to hear the post op patients talk about how much weight they have lost, some of the struggles they have gone through and things that have worked for them. I really enjoy these meetings. I think I'm gonna keep going after surgery.

So yesterday I got to talk to a woman I met at the first meeting I had attended. She was 2 weeks post op at the meeting. I peppered her with questions about what to expect, and she was great about answering them. She said she stepped on the scale and had lost between 20-30 pounds since her surgery. I can't wait to see her in January. Hopefully by then we'll both be on our journey of skinny!

At the meeting they focused on how to deal with the stress of the holidays and how to deal with not being able to eat the big, traditional holiday meals. Hopefully by next year, it won't be a problem for me.

* Today was my appointment with the Psychiatrist. So after a little wait, I finally got called back. He went over the results of the 400+ questions I had to answer before seeing him. Turns out, according to the answer of the test, I qualify as "normal". I had no signs of any eating disorders or depression. No suicidal tendencies. I understand what I'm signing up to do.

So all in all, it's been a good week in the journey. Although it seems like it is moving slow to me, I know that it will be here before I know it....hopefully.

Goals

In my 1st of 2 mandatory support group meeting that I have to attend prior to surgery, they had talked about setting goals for yourself to keep yourself motivated. Not, oh I want to lose 60 pounds by Valentine's day, they are talking about non-weight number goals.

So as I have continued to think about and try to mentally prepare myself for this journey, I keep thinking about these goals to set and what goals do I want to set for myself.

Here are some of the things I have thought up so far:

1. Of course there is the biggest one, being able to shop at "normal" people places for clothes.
2. Not that I get to travel much, but being able to ride in the airplane without having to ask for a seat belt extender.
3. Being able to drive my car without having the seat belt choke me because it is currently extended as far as it can go.
4. Being able to go to the theater or a concert and not have the arms of the chair cut into my hips, thighs or sides.
5. This one is a big one for me....being able to go to my favorite theme park and ride all the rides that I REALLY want to ride, but currently can't because I'm too big to fit in the seats.
6. Being able to walk long distances without having my legs or feet hurting during the walk or after it.
7. Being able to try new things: like canoeing, bike trips, spa treatments. Sure these are things I can do know but let's be honest, it's to be able to do them without people snickering or thinking oh shit.
8. This next one is a little personal but still, feeling sexy and being able to enjoy "things" with my boyfriend.
9. Not being tired all the time. That will be a big thing!
10. Just being able to travel more. Granted this one also requires money, but I'm thinking about having the energy to experience different things and to see the sites in a city.
11. I would love to learn how to scuba dive and explore some of the reefs off the Keys or in the Caribbean.
12. Being able to box up and donate my current clothes to Salvation Army or Goodwill.
13. Hopefully having my shoe size shrink down a size or 2 so I can buy shoes in normal stores!
14. I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of the new me. The incredible shrinking woman!
15. Shocking the hell out of some of my family when I show up as the new me at the family reunion in July.
16. Taking one of those Segway tours. Even if it's here, just being able to try a Segway!

So these are just a few goals I have been thinking about over the past month.

Can't wait to get started.

Another reason for the surgery...but one I tend to forget about.

So the past week I had a reminder. A not very good reminder.

Deep inside I always know that I am fat. Even though I try to imagine myself not fat. There are the little reminders, such as being able to sit in a seat and not having the arms of the chairs cutting into my hips or thighs.

This past week it was a snide comment that someone said that I ended up taking offense to. Even though that comment was not directed at me personally, I still felt it as a blow to my confidence.

I am one of those many people who post tweets on Twitter. Just for fun, I follow some celebrities. There are several celebrities on Twitter, all at various stages/levels of celebrity. The celebrity in question is not a "big" national celebrity but depending on what type of music you listen to, would determine if you know this person or not.

Part of the thing that makes this comment shocking and unbelievable is the fact that before this celebrity became well known he/she made a living as a personal trainer. A personal trainer. As in someone who helps fat people become healthier and thinner.

This person posted a picture of a fat person at a grocery store. She was wearing a short white skirt and the wrong type of underwear. She was bending down to pick something up from a bottom shelf. Unfortunately for this person, she was bending at the waist to pick up the item rather than ladylike bending at the knees.

Now I had seen the picture before. It had come in a email about rednecks or the people of Walmart. When I get them and kinda chuckle at them and hope to God I never get spotted doing something like that and then move on.

Had the celebrity posted the picture and made no comment I would have been fine. The celebrity had posted funny pictures on his/her Twitter account before. Put he/she didn't stop at that. Nope, he/she had to make a snide comment as well.

The comment was "this is why I don't shop at Kroger anymore. They tend to be smaller at Whole Foods."

It's thoughtless, mean comments like this that cause us "big" people to have lack of self confidence and just feel even more like shit.

The thing about it was, if it had been a picture of a black, or Asian, or Latino person, it would be considered racism. But because it was just a snide comment against a fat person, society seems to think that it's okay.

Back in the late 19th and early 20th century, a woman with curves was considered the most desirable. Even Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14 I've heard. When did society deem a woman with curves undesirable? When did stick thin girls become the preferred standard of what is considered beautiful, sexy and desirable?

** In the process of writing this post I happened to go back to that celebrity's twitter site and he/she had removed the offensive picture and tweet. Guess my little rant about his/her meanness and rudeness hit the mark!

First Doctor Visit

So today was the first visit with the Dr. This doctor seems to have the most patients and seems to have a very good success rate. One of the things I found interesting was it seems as several nurses and office staff seem to have had one form of weight loss surgery, with some pretty amazing results.

So after filling out paperwork, I got called back to fill out more paperwork and talk with the nurse before actually talking with the doctor. Of course there was the dreaded scale check. I have decided I like the scales in this doctor's office better than the scale in my PCP. According to the special scales, today I weighed 396. I knew I liked this scale! Of course I have been sick with a sinus infection so that may have something to do with it. That and the fact that I have not drank a full can of Pepsi since I got sick last week. All I have had is a few sips from the fountain soda machine at work. Not even a full glass!

So before the nurse left I told her that I was hoping to have the surgery by the end of the year due to a change in insurance. When the doctor came in he didn't give me a definite yes, we can get it done by the end of the year, but he did say that I should tell the lady who handles the insurance to save a space for me in December, which I of course forgot to do. I need to remember to email her.

It was interesting meeting the doctor. I guess I was a little different than most of his patients because I really didn't have any questions for him. I told him that most of the questions I had got answered at the support group meeting. There was something about his manner that I just couldn't quite put my finger on. It was almost as if he really didn't like being around fat people. He just seemed a little distant. Maybe it was me.

After about 15 minutes with the doctor it was time to move on. Next I met with the office dietitian. She gave me some information about the surgery to read and answered a couple of questions that I had concerning the pre-op/post-op diet. She did let me know that it would be about 6 months after surgery before I would be able to eat beef. Okay, I guess I can deal with that.

After talking with her for about 10 minutes, it was time to meet with the next consultation.

Time to talk with the exercise physiologist. Talk over what type of exercise I've done previously, what I like to do for exercise, what limitations I may have, etc...

After 10 minutes talking with him, it was time to leave. Before leaving I talked briefly with the insurance lady and got the questionnaire for the psychiatric evaluation. 340 questions that repeated themselves, just asking it a different way. One of the questions that was hard to answer was Do people annoy you? Well, let's see...are you talking about people in general, or the people that ask the stupid questions over the phone, or the co-workers who wait to the last minute to bring you something that they want you to drop everything you may be doing to work on their stuff? If the answer is yes, then hell yes they annoy me! How does an normal person answer that question? I answered some of the time.

So I answered the 340 questions to the best of my ability and turned it in. Now it's a waiting game to hear from the Psychiatrist to go over the questions.

The next step for me is to attend the 2nd support group meeting, follow up emails with the dietitian and exercise physiologist and push and prod my PCP to send in the proper paperwork so that I can meet with the doctor a final time to schedule the surgery in December.

So until then, it's reading over everything that I have gotten, take the online class and mentally prepare myself for this journey.

A Little History

I am a 33 year old female. I currently weigh over 400 pounds although my weight is spread throughout my body and not located in a specific area. This is the biggest I have ever been.

I have been fat for as long as I can remember. There is a picture taken of me when I was 3 1/2 years old when I look like an normal child. Skinny. The next picture I can remember was me taken in nursery school (about 4 years old I guess) and I have started to become a chubby child.

I don't honestly remember when that transition began, but during that span, my older brother passed away very suddenly under unusual circumstances. I am not sure if that was the trigger or not.

I can remember going school shopping with my mother for either 4th or 5th grade and having to shop for size 14 clothes. At least I think it was a 14.

By the time I graduated high school I was in a size 28. I grew up in the country and considered myself very active when I was growing up. I swam, rode my bike, hiked in the woods, etc.

I did come from a family where several members were overweight. My mother has fought the battle with weight her entire life. My maternal great aunt has fought it but has managed to lose a lot of her weight with Weight Watchers. My paternal grandmother was big for all of my life. (But grandma's are supposed to be right?) She had very heavy legs: calves, ankles, knees and thighs. This is one trait I have inherited from her that I really wish I hadn't.

I have had 3 arthroscopic knee surgeries. At 18 I was told that I needed a complete knee replacement but my doctor at the time said I was too young for the surgery. Part of the reason for that was genetics but a lot of it was the weight.

Was I teased when I was growing up? Of course. I went to a small school for the first 5 years. In 5th grade we combined with 2 other schools to form the middle school. New kids meant fresh teases.

But the comments weren't just restricted to classmates. I can remember my father looking at a picture of myself and a cousin taken at the Lincoln Memorial or someplace in Washington DC with columns and making the comments about "well, her butt is about 2 feet wide so that means the column is 10 feet." I remember him saying it, he doesn't. I also had an aunt who never hid her preference for my skinny, popular cousin and I was treated more as a tag-a-long.

Did these things hurt? Of course they did. But I have long ago learned to bury and ignore things that hurt me. I would just let them sit and stew and build.

I grew up never really showing my true emotions. I was so good at hiding my emotions that when my grandmother died when I was in college, no one knew it with the exception of my roommate.

I moved to the south in the late 90's fresh from my 3rd knee surgery and graduating from college. I had managed to maintain my size 28 up until winter of 2006. I noticed that a pair of size 30 jeans that I had bought was tight around my waste. I figured I had gained weight. Spring of 2007 I joined Weight Watchers and a gym. Things seem to be going well until I hit a plateau that I couldn't get past. After going to the doctor and a series of tests, a tumor was discovered. By early summer I had had the tumor removed but that meant that I had to stop the exercise.

Once getting out of the exercise and Weight Watchers habit, it was hard to get back to it. Not to mention financially difficult.

Last December a husband of a co-worker under went the gastric bypass surgery. By June of this year he had lost a total of 180 some pounds. I could not believe it. He has done so amazing well. I him-hawed around until I decided to force my PCP to give me the referral so that I could at least talk to the gastric doctor.

Now my doctor has been against the surgery. I can remember questioning him about it after hearing that celebrities like Al Roker and Carnie Wilson had the surgery and seeing their amazing results. When I brought it up several years back, he thought that a person should be able to lose the weight on their own. He told me then he didn't believe the surgery and had only referred about 5 patients for the surgery. Because of me remembering him saying this, I went into his office ready for a fight. Much to my surprise he said ok.

I attended one of the free seminars put on by the gastric surgeons at a local hospital. Got the paperwork, but was unsure how to answer some of the "history" questions, so I had to schedule another appointment with my PCP. Last Thursday, September 17th, I met with my PCP to finish the history questionnaire and to have him start the paperwork trail process on his end.

Today, September 21st I took that paperwork to the gastric doctor's office so I could start the process. They weighed me in, 403.7 pounds, BMI of 56.3, and a body fat percentage of 51.6%, and scheduled me for the first appointment with the gastric doctor.

Unfortunately I have found out that my insurance carrier will be changing January 1st. So the rush is on to get everything done before December 31st. I have an online class to take, 2 support group meetings to attend, a psyche evaluation to undergo, meetings with the nutritionist, a second doctor's appointment, getting insurance approval and then hopefully the surgery.

The thought of having my 34th birthday in February with me being 50 to maybe 75 lighter is an amazing prospect.

Let the journey to a thinner, healthier, happier me begin.